Ho Hum

Sigh…
I think I will just start to type for a while. Forgive me if it seems a bit "all over the place".

I am not used to writing these things. Things meaning blogs. Sharing thoughts with whoever is reading this seems strange to me. To make the time, sit down and “get in the mood” can be hard sometimes. Music seems to do the trick. Nothing upbeat. Something really mellow works well for me. Today’s selection is Windham Hill’s “A Winter’s Solstice”. I am not big on Windham Hill but I found this years ago when Tera and I first started dating. Something about this album really does it for me. It is obviously seasonal. In case anyone is looking for something to knock your socks off I would suggest Bryan Duncan’s “My Utmost for His Highest”. Again I am not huge on Bryan Duncan but this is such a great album I would recommend it to anyone.

Anyhoo…Enough with the small talk. Tera and I returned home on Monday night at almost midnight. We sat in separate sections on the plane as we were unable to get two seats together. The day was long and harder than expected. The plane ride home felt longer than it was. In our hearts we were very sad.

Monday morning was the day that Emma went back to her foster family. Need I say more? We had dreaded this day from the day we met Emma. Tera and I spent some quiet time with Emma praying for her, her birthmother and her foster family. We sat and held her till 9:55 then headed down to the lobby to meet with the foster family. A little after 10am the foster mom and her daughter showed up and I almost began to cry right there. We exchanged information and talked about Emma’s week with us and numerous other things. There was a lot talked about but I can’t seem to remember. It all seemed to be such a blur. When the time came for Emma to go back to the foster mom and Tera and I began to cry. We had become so endeared to Emma over the course of six days. It was hard. Three other couples were there doing the same thing and going through the same obstacle course of emotions. Even though we weren’t the only ones there it felt like we were the only ones around for miles. We said our goodbyes and made our way back to the lobby. Tera and I had a few hours to spare so we took a walk around the hotel and did some last minute shopping before checking out and heading to the airport. Like I said Tera and I were unable to sit together on the flight home. It was so hard. We were able to have dinner in Atlanta during our layover which was nice but we were doing what we could to bear our longing for little Emma. When we got home we relaxed for a short time before heading to bed.

Since then we have been busy doing the daily grind. Work, sleep, eat. Work, sleep, eat. Getting things done around the house and all kinds of other stuff. It seems all a bit circular but it does have a purpose. This I know. In the meantime we have some big projects to work on like getting the baby’s room done as well as the rooms downstairs done. Here in Minnesota we are heading into winter which means putting away all of the patio furniture, watering hoses, fishing boats and anything else that resembles summertime.

So when do are we going to see Emma again? As soon as possible. We are waiting for the DNA results to come back and if those come back as hoped for we will begin to make plans for another trip. I am not sure if I will be able to go on this trip though. Earlier this year I got a part time job at the airport to help take the edge off the of airline tickets. When I am able to use this benefit the savings are huge. But this does come with it’s disadvantages. The biggest is that when flying under these benefit’s a person can be bumped off of the flight by regular paying customers. With my schedule it is hard to have the flexibility of getting bumped and not making a flight. My full time job is giving me all the flexibility I can ask for but the airline job won’t. So I will have to schedule my trip to Guatemala around my off days. If I can’t make it then I would have to try the following week. This would all be solved if I made more money and paid like a regular paying customer which guarantees me a seat. But this is not the case so reality tells me that Tera will be going it alone to Guatemala on her next visit. Ideally I would like to go along but we can’t afford tickets for the both of us. Maybe next time ya know? I just don’t want too much time to slip by before seeing her again. Babies change so quickly when they are so young.

A couple of prayer requests before I wrap this up.

1. The DNA test and results.

The touchy issues with DNA is that when the tests are done the birth mother and child are brought together. It is at this point that the birth mother will sometimes change her mind about the adoption. If this were to happen it would be hard beyond words to deal with. But it is understandable trying to look at it through the eyes of the birth mother.

2. The Holidays.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up and we won’t be able to be with Emma during these times. Pray for patience on our part. It’s going be hard.

We are so thankful that the Lord provided us with the means to go and be with Emma in October. We are grateful for His mercy and grace throughout this process. We are floored to know that He has placed Emma in our lives and hope that we will be able to bring her into our family.

I also want to say thanks to all the families and individuals that we met while in Guatemala. It was so awesome to meet others going through some of the same things that we are. It really helped me connect the dots in some areas of the process that I have been struggling with. To speak (even if it was brief) was such an encouragement. We had dinner with some, breakfast with others. I was even able to shop a bit with some men who I met that same day. I hope that Tera and I see these people soon. I think I'll end it here for now.

Jason