Wednesday, November 15, 2006

News...

The day after my last entry we received the authorization for the DNA test to proceed. Progress is good. Then a day or two later we received an update from the doctor and our agency about Emma. Included were over 20 pictures of her at the doctors office as well as news about her health. According to the doctor she is doing well and has gained a whopping 2 pounds since we last saw her. We have also recently received news that we have entered family court. All this news makes me excited and gives me a sense of forward motion. We are still planning for Tera to visit as soon as possible but with the Thanksgiving and Christmas upon us it will be interesting to see how it all pans out. We’ll see.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Ho Hum

Sigh…
I think I will just start to type for a while. Forgive me if it seems a bit "all over the place".

I am not used to writing these things. Things meaning blogs. Sharing thoughts with whoever is reading this seems strange to me. To make the time, sit down and “get in the mood” can be hard sometimes. Music seems to do the trick. Nothing upbeat. Something really mellow works well for me. Today’s selection is Windham Hill’s “A Winter’s Solstice”. I am not big on Windham Hill but I found this years ago when Tera and I first started dating. Something about this album really does it for me. It is obviously seasonal. In case anyone is looking for something to knock your socks off I would suggest Bryan Duncan’s “My Utmost for His Highest”. Again I am not huge on Bryan Duncan but this is such a great album I would recommend it to anyone.

Anyhoo…Enough with the small talk. Tera and I returned home on Monday night at almost midnight. We sat in separate sections on the plane as we were unable to get two seats together. The day was long and harder than expected. The plane ride home felt longer than it was. In our hearts we were very sad.

Monday morning was the day that Emma went back to her foster family. Need I say more? We had dreaded this day from the day we met Emma. Tera and I spent some quiet time with Emma praying for her, her birthmother and her foster family. We sat and held her till 9:55 then headed down to the lobby to meet with the foster family. A little after 10am the foster mom and her daughter showed up and I almost began to cry right there. We exchanged information and talked about Emma’s week with us and numerous other things. There was a lot talked about but I can’t seem to remember. It all seemed to be such a blur. When the time came for Emma to go back to the foster mom and Tera and I began to cry. We had become so endeared to Emma over the course of six days. It was hard. Three other couples were there doing the same thing and going through the same obstacle course of emotions. Even though we weren’t the only ones there it felt like we were the only ones around for miles. We said our goodbyes and made our way back to the lobby. Tera and I had a few hours to spare so we took a walk around the hotel and did some last minute shopping before checking out and heading to the airport. Like I said Tera and I were unable to sit together on the flight home. It was so hard. We were able to have dinner in Atlanta during our layover which was nice but we were doing what we could to bear our longing for little Emma. When we got home we relaxed for a short time before heading to bed.

Since then we have been busy doing the daily grind. Work, sleep, eat. Work, sleep, eat. Getting things done around the house and all kinds of other stuff. It seems all a bit circular but it does have a purpose. This I know. In the meantime we have some big projects to work on like getting the baby’s room done as well as the rooms downstairs done. Here in Minnesota we are heading into winter which means putting away all of the patio furniture, watering hoses, fishing boats and anything else that resembles summertime.

So when do are we going to see Emma again? As soon as possible. We are waiting for the DNA results to come back and if those come back as hoped for we will begin to make plans for another trip. I am not sure if I will be able to go on this trip though. Earlier this year I got a part time job at the airport to help take the edge off the of airline tickets. When I am able to use this benefit the savings are huge. But this does come with it’s disadvantages. The biggest is that when flying under these benefit’s a person can be bumped off of the flight by regular paying customers. With my schedule it is hard to have the flexibility of getting bumped and not making a flight. My full time job is giving me all the flexibility I can ask for but the airline job won’t. So I will have to schedule my trip to Guatemala around my off days. If I can’t make it then I would have to try the following week. This would all be solved if I made more money and paid like a regular paying customer which guarantees me a seat. But this is not the case so reality tells me that Tera will be going it alone to Guatemala on her next visit. Ideally I would like to go along but we can’t afford tickets for the both of us. Maybe next time ya know? I just don’t want too much time to slip by before seeing her again. Babies change so quickly when they are so young.

A couple of prayer requests before I wrap this up.

1. The DNA test and results.

The touchy issues with DNA is that when the tests are done the birth mother and child are brought together. It is at this point that the birth mother will sometimes change her mind about the adoption. If this were to happen it would be hard beyond words to deal with. But it is understandable trying to look at it through the eyes of the birth mother.

2. The Holidays.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up and we won’t be able to be with Emma during these times. Pray for patience on our part. It’s going be hard.

We are so thankful that the Lord provided us with the means to go and be with Emma in October. We are grateful for His mercy and grace throughout this process. We are floored to know that He has placed Emma in our lives and hope that we will be able to bring her into our family.

I also want to say thanks to all the families and individuals that we met while in Guatemala. It was so awesome to meet others going through some of the same things that we are. It really helped me connect the dots in some areas of the process that I have been struggling with. To speak (even if it was brief) was such an encouragement. We had dinner with some, breakfast with others. I was even able to shop a bit with some men who I met that same day. I hope that Tera and I see these people soon. I think I'll end it here for now.

Jason

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Yuck

I can't stand it. We're packing, Emma's sleeping and I can feel the minutes slip by...

Dreading tomorrow

Emma goes back to her foster family tomorrow...It's sad. Really sad. For the past six days Tera and I have bonded with Emma and tomorrow it will have to cease for a time. It is hard for the both of us yet she has affected us in different ways too. Emma has done things to me and my heart that I can't even begin to explain if I had to. Tomorrow will be hard. Beyond hard.
I do want to say that we are so thankful for what the Lord has done. He has been ever faithful and graceful to us. We are so thankful that we were able to see her at such a young age. The longer visit makes it harder because so much more bonding can happen than if we were here for something like two days. I'll write more after we get back home.
Please pray that our process goes quickly so that someday soon we can be permanently reunited with little Emma.

J

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Greetings from Guatemala City

We are here. I have not posted because I have been staring at our little one so much. For the record we named her Emma Grace Esperanza Chavez. Emma and Grace are family names and Esperanza means "hope".

We arrived in Guatemala City on Tuesday safe and sound. We were met outside the airport by many beggars. I am not as used to this as Tera is. It's hard to see children live like that. On the way from the airport to the hotel I witnessed approximately four thousand traffic violations give or take a few. I don't think that I will ever rent a car here.

Tera and I were spent yet so excited to meet little Emma so we did the best we could to get some rest and to settle in for a weeks stay at the Westin in Guatemala City. The beds here are far beyond what I can explain. They are by far the most comfortable beds I have ever slept in.

Wednesday morning we got up and went to have breakfast. It was buffet style with so many things to choose from. I have officially named fried plantains as my "so very bad for me but I don't care" food of choice. The breakfast was so good but in the backs of our minds was the fact that we were about to meet the girl who would change our lives forever. We headed back up to our room and waited. Room service came to tidy up our room and the second they left and shut the door the phone rang. It was Marielena asking us to meet her in the lobby of the hotel. We quickly gathered our things and headed for the lobby. Once there Marielena led us to a small secluded room to meet little Emma (then Nurian Sochil). The foster mother was there with her daughter and Emma. The foster mother greeted us and immediately handed Emma to Tera. We were so overwhelmed by the situation that neither Tera or I spoke for a minute or so. We began to speak with the foster mother and her daughter about Emma and who they were as well. The foster mother and her daughter were so sweet and kind. We like them alot. They seem so concerned with Emma's well being. After some more conversation and picture taking we were allowed to leave so the three of us headed back upstairs to our room. Together we gave Emma her first bath, first bottle and first diaper change. A day of firsts. I loved it. Since then Emma has pretty much slept and eaten. Today she is a bit out of sorts but otherwise in great spirits. Here at the Westin we have met so many nice people visiting their babies as well. Last night we were able to have dinner with one of the moms and her little one which was really nice. It's really cool to interact with others going through the adoption process as well.
This morning we signed our Power of Attorney and the now the Guatemalan side of the process is now underway! Praise the Lord.
So here I sit. It is raining outside and Tera is across the room feeding Emma. It seems so quiet in here even with the hustle and bustle of the city below. The world moves on as Tera and I fall in love with our dear Emma Grace.

If you want to see some pictures Tera has some posted on her blog. Just click on the "Guatemama" link to the right. I'll get that picture thing figured out one of these days.

Jason

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Gotta fly

I must admit that I have been very busy along with Tera preparing for our POA trip to Guatemala. I just wanted to quick drop a line to those who read this and to ask for your continuing prayer during our trip. Pray for the Lord's protection over all three of us during this time. We leave Tuesday morning and we are afraid, nervous, excited and every other emotion under sun. I will probably post when we return.

Thanks again.

Jason

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

PRAISE GOD!!!

Tera and I went out yesterday to run some errands and get a bite to eat. When we got home I saw the machine had a new message on it. I pushed play and heard the saved messages one after another until the final message. It was the new one. The one that would change our lives forever. Our agency called informing us that we had received our referral. A little baby girl born October 4th. The agency informed us that we would be receiving more information along with pictures. Tera and I looked at each other and began to cry. What else could we do? We had waited 10 years for this. We ran to the living room and told Jimmy (her brother) and he was very excited and happy for us. We quickly ran to our computers and began checking our emails. Feverishly hitting Send/Receive over and over again until the information began to roll in. First the health information and other vitals and finally the pictures. I cannot express the feelings that well up inside me when I see her face. She is so very, very beautiful to me. I miss her already.
Our plan is to get to Guatemala for our first visit as soon as possible. Maybe leaving as early as Friday.
I have to go and will post some pictures as soon as I can figure out how to do so.
Thanks so much to all of you who have prayed for us through our wait. You know who you are.

You will hear from me soon.

Adios.

Friday, September 29, 2006

My how things change in one day.

Tera called me today to inform me that the executive order that was signed yesterday was no longer in effect. I am not sure what to say...it has been an emotional 24 hrs and my thoughts and emotions have been up, down and side to side. I am thankful things are back on track again and hopeful that we don't have to go through this again. What a nightmare.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

The long pause...

My wife informed me that there was some movement in Guatemala within the past few days which allegedly is not good news for us. While the details are still sketchy and not much is known it appears that the president of Guatemala may be putting all adoptions on hold or shutting them down indefinitely. The bottom line is this: The president of Guatemala signed an executive order concerning the adoptions within the country that would affect the entire process as of October 1, 206. The way he has gone about this is apparently illegal. A more detailed version of what is happening can be found at www.guatadopt.com
Within our agency there were some phone calls that were being made today to deal with the upcoming effects of this move my the Guatemalen president. Phone calls that we were hoping to be apart of. We did not recieve one of those calls.

This move by the president could mean a few different things for Tera and I:

1. The adoption laws could change and it would affect us in a big way or not.

2. The president could back-pedal and it might not be as big a deal.

3. Our adoption process for a girl from Guatemala would be done, period.

Of course there might be more scenarios out there but these are the ones that are evident to me at the moment.

So many things are at play here. I know that people are scrambling and calls are being made and we sit here motionless. The president of Guatemala is allegedly being motivated by the almighty dollar in an election year by organizations such as UNICEF to put adoptions on a shelf. Tera and I are sooooo close to possibly recieving a referral and here we sit.

I am not a father but I long to be one day soon. It destroys me inside to know that the worst case scenario could bring us to the end of the road in our adoption process and in turn could take away the opportunity for Tera and I to be parents.

The jury is still out and we don't know what this all means but I ask that for those who read my little blog to pray for Tera and I and the situation that is brewing in Guatemala. Please keep a place in your prayers for those other families that are in the same or similar situation like us. Pray that the Lord shows his favor on us and hears the cries of our hearts.

Thanks for reading and I will post again when I can.

Gracias

Monday, August 28, 2006

Last Monday (August 21) our dossier went to Guatemala.

While at work the previous Friday I received a text message from Tera saying that our dossier was approved. I stood among my co-workers overwhelmed with the joy of knowing that we were moving on to the next step of our dossier and ever closer to bringing our daughter home. I wanted to tell them my good news but kept it to myself wanting to share it with Tera. I was very excited and would not be able to talk to Tera till much later in the day so I began to let my mind wander as most potential fathers probably do from time to time.
So let the shopping begin…and boy it sure has begun alright. On Tuesday we went to a local mall and spent the day there shopping at all of the baby and children’s stores there. Let’s see, there was Gap Baby/Kids, Osh Kosh, Old Nay and the infamous Hanna Anderson among others. We know couples who shop together and as most of us know it can be a disaster... sometimes. Especially if one spouse has different shopping habits than the other. We all know couples who are like this. One spouse wants in and out in 40 seconds flat and the other wants to peruse the aisles for two and half hours looking for that “perfect” item. This spells marriage counseling in the end. We are not the that couple. HOORAY we are not that couple!!! Tera has this knack of looking, finding, buying and moving on to the next shop in one seamless movement. I on the other hand am more like the typical male. In and out. But if there is something I like I will stare at it online for days before heading to the store to actually buy it so I guess I do spend a good amount of time “looking” at it. Tuesday was the exception… We looked and looked and looked at little girls clothes making sure we bought really nice things for “her” while in Guatemala and for when she eventually comes home. I looked long and hard learning about baby sizes and the surprisingly high prices of baby clothes. We had a great time and got lots of fun clothes, cute clothes and practical clothes. We don’t really have anything for her since this will be our first child so clothes and all the other items that we have bought so far are just the beginning of what we will be buying. It seems like a lot but we have been waiting for this for such a long time and we are trying to enjoy every second. Till next time.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

A Milestone of sorts

Well our homestudy is now done and sent on to the next phase of the adoption process. We sent our documents to the consulate and the person who runs through our documents with a fine tooth comb. It is a good feeling getting to this point and I must admit that some tears of relief were shed when we the homestudy was finished up.
Now that we have gotten this far we can sit and begin to bite our nails while our homestudy is being looked at and THEN we can get even more nervous as we wait to be put on "the list" for referral. Till my next blog...
J

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Hello there

It has been so long since my last post. I have been busy and tired and tired of being busy. We are finally at the end of our paper chase. We are waiting for the finishing touches on our home study and everything will be sent out as soon as that is done. The whole process of chasing down records, getting signatures, witness statements, making appointments with doctors and finding a notary that can actually sign their name legibly (thanks Jan) and all of the certification, authentication and time spent at our local Fedex and US Postal branch is insane. But looking back at what we have done so far I would do it all over again. I learned quite a bit about how the process works and how important it is when it comes to detail. Of course we aren't done yet and I am sure there will be many days of both hapinness and frustration ahead but at least we do have this section behind us for the most part and both Tera and I are more than eager to move on to the next stage of our adoption process. We began to do a bit of "window" shopping recently and I have feeling that I am going to enjoy it when we start making the purchases. I am sometimes without words when I think of this whole process because it can be so daunting. But then I think of the child that we have yet to meet, hold and already miss and all the distractions just disappear.
I have to take a moment to recognize my wife's ablities and accomplishments with the process so far with all of the people she talked to, all the emails sent and phone calls that had to be made. In essense she worked on it non stop, seven days a week till we got to where we are today...at mach speed. Kudos to you my love. Till next time...Hopefully sooner than later.
Jason

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Sad

Our deepest sympathy and prayers for the family and friends of little Ricardo. God be with you all in this very difficult time.

j

It's been a while...

It has been a while... My current work schedule has been a bit crazy as of late... Needless to say I am busy and tired.
Things are moving along and the paperchase continues. We have had to redo some documents a couple of times and there have been some "bumps" in the road as well. I don't like "bumps".
I hope and pray that our process is smooth and goes off without a hitch. Of course we know not all things in an adoption go smoothly, I just hope that is as smooth as possible.
I would have to say that I will take as many bumps and difficulties that will come along the way as long as we are able to ultimatley adopt our child. Please pray for us.
Tera and I are working continuously both at and away from home slowly making progress towards our ultimate goal: To be united with the child that we already miss and hope to one day hold in our arms and call our own.
J

Monday, June 26, 2006

Pretty quiet today


Our social worker comes back from vacation tomorrow. After many hours behind our computers we finished and handed in our questionaire. It turned out to be something like twenty pages. It seemed a bit much but we did the best that we could to keep the answers simple and concise. Hopefully she will approve. Nothing much else is new.
Here's a random photo of me with a pike I caught while fishing in Wisconsin with my brother in law.
Later,
J

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Making decisions about making decisions...

After much research and discussion we chose our placement agency. I’m not sure what the rules are on talking about agencies so I will omit their name for now. We had it down to three agencies all which had excellent programs. It was a very difficult decision to make. Actually, difficult does not even begin to describe it. It is so hard to make a choice like this because once a choice is made you know that there are children that are being passed up through the other agencies. The reality is that we can’t adopt all the little ones. Then you start thinking about how many children there are that need parents and it really does a number on your heart. Many factors came into play when we decided but I feel that we made the right decision. So we filled out another application to the placement agency that we chose and faxed it. Surprisingly we heard from them right away which was nice. We will be looking at the "contract" they sent us and we will decide what we will do next.

Jason

Monday, June 19, 2006

Progress is good...

I got a part time job today...It's for a good cause so I'll leave it at that.
AND I just got back from sending out our I600A. In the words of my brother in law... "That's HUGE!!!"
For those who may not know, it's an application for Homeland Security approval. This is the filter that everything and I mean everything goes through. It's kinda like telling the United States "Hello, we would like to adopt a child. Oh, and by the way here's a pile of money." Please pray that the application goes through the system without a hitch. If everything goes well I guess that Dubbya's office will approve and we'll be on our way.
Needless to say we are excited.
Speaking of excited... I'm excited to go to bed. I've been up for over 28 hours.

Night night.

Jason

Sunday, June 18, 2006

My first blog

This is my first official blog. This makes me laugh inside. I never thought I would be doing one of these. Not that there is anything wrong with blogs. It's just different for me I guess.

The purpose of this blog is three fold... the first purpose is to document for myself the day to day or step by step journey to our (hopefully successful) international adoption. The second is for this to be a place for family and friends to check in for information and where we are in the process of our adoption. Lastly, this is just a place for me to vent or just air out my thoughts.

Let's see what happens.

Jason